Ranch Poker Guide Page 4: Glossary of Games

Glossary of Games

Five Card Draw- Traditional poker, seldom played, not enough betting or excitement, but good for an occasional breather after someone who's already been winning all night sucks up a forty dollar pot

Low-Ball Draw- Same as above but try to avoid getting a pair. There are times along about the end of the night that you'll wish you had been playing this game exclusively. Keep in mind that low-ball, in all it's forms is the only game where the joker is totally wild.

Three Low-Two Draw - Portion of a low-ball hand, you get an extra draw. Just enough to throw away some more money or let someone draw out on you when you're sitting on a decent 6-4. Stupid game. One of three portagee favorites.

Five Card Stud - Purest form of poker. The "gentleman's game". Featured in the classic poker movie, The Cincinnati Kid, with Steve McQueen, Edward G. Robinson, Ann Margaret and Karl Malden. One down, four up, all betting, no bullshit.

Seven-Card Stud - Interesting version of the original with more betting, a lot of dealing. Not for those with short attention spans (approximately 95-98% of opening weekend clientele fits this description). Note: Beware of bastardized versions of this game such as 'high- spade- in- the- hole' and 'low-spade-in-the-hole' splits the pot or 'high-low' or the dreaded 'no-peeky' (see below) which are nothing but lottery-style perversions initiated by sadistic unfortunates with anal fixations.

Low-Ball Stud- Played primarily in the five-card version. A highly entertaining form of the gentlemen's game where it's never over until the last card's out. It's a lot like Russian Roulette. One of the author's personal favorites. Hint: Don't be afraid of the ink.

No-Peek - Played in five and seven-card versions. All cards dealt down. They call this poker! You're required to bet on your cards and everybody else's but you don't get to look at your cards until everyone else has. Silly and costly. A favorite of derelicts and near-sighted Mexicans with a taste for Southern Comfort.

Guts- Most nights, all the aforementioned games are pretty much window dressing for several rounds of the various version of this game. It almost deserves it's own chapter. This is poker stripped to it's bare essentials. No frills. No betting. Easy to deal. Played primarily in tow and three card versions, high or low. One common misconception about Guts is that it allows certain individuals to buy or attempt to buy a hand. This is a myth. It's sort of like the Jackalope of card playing. Let's look at it this way: If a person throws his cards in a d no one calls him and he takes his rightful earnings, well he obviously had the best hand. I mean who would knowingly go in with a weak hand? Conversely, if someone goes in mistakenly with a poor hand and gets beaten, well he certainly didn't buy that one did he? This is not a betting game, it's a talking game. It's psychological warfare. It's also a bushwhacker's game. The last two chapter of this book attempt to equip you with the tools you'll need to have a fighting chance in this one.

Acey-Duecy & Twenty One - These are not poker games. These are exercises in desperation. These are the other two portagee favorites and are only played to keep him happy so he'll stay and cook.